Cindy Lu went on a Caribbean Vacation and Never Went Home...

She had it made living in Malibu, California. But the first time our guest Cindy Lu visited this island paradise, she cried on the ferry ride over and - and she didn't even know where she was going. All she knew is it felt like she was coming home.  Is "Living Happily Ever After" a myth?  Perhaps, but after her 18-year marriage ended in divorce, Cindy's getting her grove back.

1. Cindy Lu's website http://www.thefourmanplan.com
2. Essential Oils http://my.doterra.com/mailbu
3. Free Visitor Guide to Isla Mujeres, MX http://www.islamujeresvacay.com
4. Vacation Villa Website: http://www.castillitocaribe.com

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Transcript

Dawn: 0:02

Welcome. You are listening to the overseas life redesign podcast where you'll hear fine relaxed and inspirational interviews with people who are really living the dream. I'm Dawn Fleming and attorney turned out, Al chemist and your host for the show coming to you from the tropical Island paradise of Isla Mujeres Mexico. Listen to conversations with courageous souls who stepped out of their comfort zone and designed a new way of life. They'll share their experiences, wisdom and offer practical steps you can take to redesign your life overseas. Listen, and you'll believe if you can dream it, you can achieve it. Okay. I'm so excited to be here with Cindy Lu. I knew the first time I met you that you were somebody I really wanted to connect with and had, um, amazing stories for sure.

Cindy Lu: 0:54

I already forgot. How d id we need

Dawn: 0:56

well, um, we met at a party. Yeah, it was great. I just loved your story. You know, you went on vacation and never went home.

Cindy Lu: 1:06

Yeah. Yeah. That's basically what happened. I mean I've been home since, but it was supposed to be here week and ended up renting an apartment for a year. Yes.

Dawn: 1:16

So let me ask you, did you have any inkling that you wanted to move overseas? I love you asked.

Cindy Lu: 1:23

I just talked to a friend. Yes. Friend of mine has known me for about 20 years and last night and he lived in Costa Rica for a long time and I used to always say it was like you are doing it, you know, his Facebook pictures were always him in some foreign country and surrounded by all these colors and sights. And I always told her, I was like, you just live in the best life. And the first time I came here, which was about over two years ago, I cried on the ferry on the way over and I didn't even know where I was going. I just like wet when I saw it. Like I just had this sensation that felt like I was coming home, you know, and I, I had no idea. I had come last minute, um, with a friend because her other friend dropped out. And when we got here, I just felt something really special. And so over the last two years, I came four times twice. I brought my now soon to be ex-husband. Um, and he didn't get it. And the fact that he didn't get it, uh, really accentuated for me how different we are and how our life goals were not lining up anymore, you know? And, and I just really wanted to simplify and, and live a different kind of life. So when I came after we had separated, I was supposed to just come for a week and he needed the house to work and I was like, okay, I'll just take off. I won't spend that much money on the isla mujeres, you know? And I actually spent a week also in Mexico city. As soon as I got here, I was supposed to go to a client Del Carmen. I was supposed to do Mexico city for a week, Isla Mujeres for week and then Playa Del Carmen for week. Well, I never made it to Playa Del Carmen. I just got here and then two days in, I was just feeling useless so much. And you know, I talked to land, right? It's one of the things I do is, is like, I like input from nature, an input from land and have a great deal of respect for what it wants, um, as far as whatever I can do. And I said, it's like, eh, you know, they easily, it's getting really crowded and hearing one another, you know, ex-pat, if you want me here, certain things have to happen around us is not really be possible. And it made a little list and everything on my list showed up.

Dawn: 4:08

So there was definitely an energetic cool, full you feel that brought you here.

Cindy Lu: 4:08

You know, it's one of those sensations of life was just leading me. I had already felt a little bit like, okay, I've lost control of the wheel here. You know, things are starting to happen in my relationship and like in my world in um, in California, in your Malibu, in the United States. And it just wasn't jiving with me and this click that I felt here was just something really had been longing for for awhile and I just looked at everything there and went like, I don't know what's here for me anymore that I feel in alignment with.

Dawn: 4:36

And that's interesting to hear you say that because you know a lot of people really would think, Oh my gosh, you live in Malibu. Like that's the old.

Cindy Lu: 4:43

right. Yeah.

Dawn: 4:45

But not so much.

Cindy Lu: 4:47

Well it's funny because one of the books that I am working on is about that happily ever after myth that I had been chasing. And I know everybody's chasing that. When I had the house, the husband, the job, you know, our career, I mean I've had two or three fantastic careers in the right place. Right. And so yeah, here we are living in Malibu. And um, now let me get this right. We were the servants of the celebrities of Malibu. I'm not like in Malibu, one of the big mansions on the beach. We are serving up things for people in Malibu and thus live in. So we're more like one of these is Leonardo's you know what I mean, that that are, you know, then we were one of the mountain people.

Dawn: 5:42

in the Richards Bay.

Cindy Lu: 5:44

You know what we, we were in the film and television industry but not like Bay where, you know, like we're not, you know, we work for Pierce Brosnan and his wife if we do not our friends but you know, so I make inhalers for Martin sheen and his family. I'm not friends with them, you know what I mean? houses offer beautiful place in probably the last place in the U S then I really felt like I could live and have a career and, and once that stopped working out for me, I was like, Oh, now what.

Dawn: 6:20

from California? Correct.

Cindy Lu: 7:12

Was actually born in Taiwan. My family is Chinese, so they immigrated to Taiwan, which is funny in a little Island off the coast of Trona. Right. So when things go weird politically, they're like, let's get on the Island. So I was born in Taiwan one and then they came to the U S when I was two.

Dawn: 7:12

So you have that, uh, adventurous spirit, did your genes? I would say definitely.

Cindy Lu: 7:12

I don't know about adventure. Definitely is like, things are getting a little too weird. Let's get out of here. You know? I definitely, I told my husband, I was like, that immigrant code is in me to look around and be like, this is messed up. We gotta go, you know? And, and so that is in me for sure.

Dawn: 7:13

And you think that's part of what he didn't get was that you really had that calling to, to go and he really didn't.

Cindy Lu: 7:21

Um, you know, it's funny because I was born, um, heritage of Chinese. Uh, we went to Taiwan, that's where I was born. Then we went to America. And I really, when I was laying here, I thought, you know, I'm don't choose that. I didn't choose to be an American. No. And he, there was, are obviously language perfectly and, um, learn how to work and navigate and make friends and do all kinds of stuff. But there was always an easiness. And then when I got here, I was like, Oh, I'm not American. You know what I mean? Like it's not in my blood to be like, I am American all the way. I don't relate to most Americans. You know, I relate to more than Americans here because they also bailed, you know what I mean? So that way we're like, Oh, we're from the same place that we all went, like, screw that, you know, let's, let's go here. So that was my sensation. It's like, I don't know if I'm Mexican, but I'm more Mexican than I am American as far as like what I'm experiencing as the heart and the soul, the culture. Yeah. What their priorities are, are more in alignment with my priorities now.

Dawn: 8:36

So when you made this, you know, pretty, um, abrupt m ove in a lot of ways, you said things fell into place, you had a list of things that needed to happen and they did. Would you, what would you say was your biggest challenge in that process?

Cindy Lu: 8:54

Um, I think, I'm still going through it. You know, I've been here six months. I will not call myself anything but a glorified tourist at this point. I still don't know how to get packaged, delivered, you know what I mean? It's like I'm still going back to the U S every two or three months to go get stuff and bring it back. Um, so I definitely learn certain things. I mean, probably one of the biggest challenges for me, and I think it would be equally difficult in the U S is I haven't been single for 18 years. And now with this cultural divide, I have no idea what's going on. You know, I, um, I am getting a lot of attention. I find, um, Mexican men to be really gentleman. They are not, uh, don't make overt statements or gestures if they're interested. They're very, very direct about it. You know, they'll ask you on a date, they'll pay for everything. They'll, you know what I mean? And, and when you say, Hey, and I'm not quite ready to dive into anything, you're like, Oh, no, no, it's not a problem. They just want to be friends. You know what I mean? And, and then it all happens in the dancing, right? So, so, um, there's trying to navigate that water and um, both understanding like that I haven't been single for a long time. I am a relationship coach, so I have some insights that are, um, but when it's you, when you know, one of my favorite sayings that a friend told me is, uh, you can't read the label from inside the jar. Right. It's not really able to see what's going on with other people, but I can't figure out what's going on. I really, really can't. So I just like, this is kind of staying out of it for a minute, you know.

Dawn: 10:49

Well, that's interesting. You're your book before man, plan has gotten a lot of attention on the Island here. Oh yes. Ladies. Yes. So remember the, a sister's meeting. Oh yeah. These rounded. Do you want them to want to talk about me? Yeah, that, yeah. And how that relates to where you're at right now.

Cindy Lu: 11:47

You know, thank God for my younger self. I've actually, um, spoken to my younger self because you know, people always say like, talk to yourself like you're yourself from 10 years from now and give yourself advice and, and um, I wrote this book called the Foreman plan and it basically is a system for single women to date more than one man at a time to like go back this old fashioned dance card, um, scenario where you just get to know people. I mean, it takes time. You know, we all have lost in chemistry and infatuation and crushes, you know, um, but what, what, right. So it really teaches people how to observe themselves within the process of dating, giving men more space. You know, I think serial monogamy is one thing that's happening a lot. Like, you know, if I have sex with you, you're my boyfriend or the alternate, which is like, I'll have sex with everyone and nobody's my boyfriend. You know what I mean? So it's, it's somewhere in the middle of where you can just do evaluate each relationship separately. But as you're dating multiple people, you realize that you're the common denominator. So if it's like three, you know, so it'd be like, uh, three men are stalkers and I'm like, girl, are you blaming the victim? I'm like, what? Stalker that I was asking like, how many stalkers do you have? You know what I mean? And they're like zero. And I was like, I don't, I'm not saying you're doing something wrong, you know, but you are doing something or giving off some vibration that is causing a certain type of man to be attracted to you. You know what I mean? Um, and, and you're not turning them off. You know what I mean? So, so there's something to be said when you can look at a larger field and, and see yourself as the single common denominator. And that's the growth process of being able to do this as a single woman as opposed to going like, I'm going to figure out my whole love stuff when I'm in a relationship. You can actually do it outside of relationship dating multiple men and then enter into something a little healthier for yourself. Sure. So I published that book with rent house when I, let's see, that was 2007. So now I have sat down with my little, you know, 10 years ago self and said like, girl, you really came up with something really great because if I didn't have that tool here now on Isla, you know, when I have a graph. So if you're doing the format plan, there's a graph and every man has a quantifiable value, not based on their attractiveness like men like to do. Oh, she's a 10. She it saying, you know what I mean? This scale is based on your connection with them. Okay. How many times have you seen them? Do they know about, you know, the other men too? Are you sleeping with them? You can only have one of those. You know what I mean? Like there's these different, um, quantifiable values and then you put them into a graph and it's just been the best thing for me because like, I've got a crush on him. We're here. They don't know my name, you know what I mean? This one keeps texting me. This one, you know, I keep seeing it at Kevin dental J this one. You know what I mean? Like, like it's still, you are following your own following my own plan and it's, it's really working for me as far as helping me, you know, with divorce, separations and breakups, I think you question a lot of things about yourself and I think that's very, very healthy to be like how did they contribute to the demise of this relationship? And also what did I take on that is maybe not true about myself. Right. Um, like, like feeling insecure about if I'm attracted or not is something I really came on too easily with. You know, I had really doubted whether or not I had any sort of appeals. Am I too old? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And um, six months I'm cured of that. That one's done. I'm like, okay, I still go on with it. It's bad. It's bad.

Dawn: 15:35

Since you got a group.

Cindy Lu: 15:36

Yeah, I agree with that. But the first round of men was very much about like, Oh, I'm glad you were attracted to me. You know, like it was so shocking. Like, is that that date? Are we on a dairy Joe? My head, like it wasn't even one of those, that kind of shop and now I have that satisfied, okay, what are we a Lin on here? You know, I got that little sophistication, but it has taken me, you know, this, this time that I've been here to regain my confidence. And now with that, I'm controlling the situation of the men that I'm with. Um, not by controlling them, but by controlling myself. You know what I mean? And no, it was like, okay, you've got it, girl. You know, you don't have to worry about that now who do you want to share that with?

Dawn: 16:22

Wow, what a gift. that's.

Cindy Lu: 16:25

Yeah what I'm saying. I'm patting myself on the back or like, Ooh, this is a real winner because without it, you know, I mean, my husband jumped into a new relationship five weeks out. The officials that were, yes, you did say that. Yeah. And, and he's in deep water. You know what I mean? Like now he's going to have to, if he breaks out, he has to go through a whole another breakup and he wasn't even done with this break up, you know, and me, I don't have to break up like I'm getting this experience of male-female interaction without having to be like, Oh God, no, I'm in another thing and it wasn't ready for it. Right. So he, I think he's in a little bit more trouble than I am.

Dawn: 17:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah interesting. Wow. What a great story. We'll be back in a moment.

Commercial: 17:09

Isla Mujeres is a Caribbean jewel off the coast of Cancun. Castillito Del Caribe warmly invites you to enjoy our spectacular oceanfront Villa located in the heart of El Centro and a short walk to playa Norte, which is ranked one of the top 10 beaches in the world with an ocean view of crystal clear turquoise waters overlooking both the Caribbean and Cancun city skyline. We offer a fabulous location for you to enjoy all the peace and tranquility you're looking for on vacation, while also taking in all the excitement the Island has to offer with activities either in walking distance or a golf cart day excursion away. Please visit www.castillitocaribe.com. We look forward to seeing you soon. Integrity, vacation, property management trust, true results from buyer's representative services to rental market analysis, staging, marketing and full service property management. Achieving your goals is our top priority. Visit our website at www.integrityvpm.com and get our free guide, self-manage or hire a property owners checklist of issues to consider integrity, VPM raising the bar in vacation property management. Welcome back to the overseas life redesign podcast. Thank you so much for being here. And we invite you to subscribe if you like what you hear.

Dawn: 18:44

So let's shift gears a little bit. So obviously with that type of a move, um, you have to have a way to support yourself and you can't just come down here as a tourist and be able to start working. Yes. So you must've had a portable income that you could take with you when you,

Cindy Lu: 19:00

yeah, I, uh, I had some major health issues also crop up, uh, earlier, maybe 12 years ago. And so I started down a path of natural wellness and I mean, I was always into holistic things. I do energy healing work myself. Um, but it was still in my brain that if something was really wrong with me and we turn to Western, allopathic medicine and I had black mold toxicity and, um, they were not really able to help me. In fact, what they suggested and the misdiagnosis and the prescriptions I was given, um, were making me worse. So I started really investigating natural health and I found, um, uh, doTERRA essential oils. And from that I became a, uh, I didn't want to be a brand horse. So I went and got certified as an international route therapist. I just wanted the education for myself. I mean, they were so close and so powerful, so effective, um, that I, uh, I, I could not live on these live without them. There's a nasty bug or around right now this stomach thing. Oh, you scrolled guts out for three days. And I've been running around giving people the immunity blend. Um, and I'm really blessed to have knowledge I have with essential oils here because it makes me feel like I have a real tool for my own health, you know, book by sun, burns, stomach issues, you know, um, what really whatever happens here, I have something for it. And I built that business in Malibu and we were Malibu essential oils. So we still are now we're, we've, I've made it from an inventory model. We created blends, you know, for the celebs and other people, um, where we would make their blend forum. And now we're, I've changed that to an online model where I teach people to make their own blends. They can access their doTERRA oils by being our members. And then I give them the education via Skype and, or, or zoom or FaceTime and whatever. And so that's how I made it. Portable.

Dawn: 21:13

And was that something that you started before you left?

Cindy Lu: 21:15

Yes, I started that before I left and then nice. You know, it was an amount of money that in Malibu didn't mean anything. It was two trips to the grocery store and a car payment. You know what I mean? Which is, which is okay. It's not nothing but it's not like, you know, here is life. You know, here is that chunk that I brought here is my rent is you know, is enough for me to have, you know,$15 a day and my rent and you know, here I could live on those along the way. I can actually live on that. Um, and then secondly I have my coaching from my book and from the healing work that I do and I can do that also online and the pay me into quite paypal account which is just paying online. And I do that entirely online. And then, um, also I can fly to my clients in the U S from here. Cancun is a really fantastic, I like can come to the airport so much better than Lax. Yeah. Like Lax sister. Oh my God. Anxiety. Just thinking about Lax, you know, but that Cancun airport is just like so sophisticated and so beautiful and you can go anywhere in the world from there. So I've basically reversed the model where I'm live in the vacation spot and I travel to the Workspot and now I only have to work two weeks to make two to three months of income here. Oh no. Fabulous. Yeah, it's really fabulous. Instead of working all year to scrape together two weeks worth of money to come here. Wow. Wow. And I didn't change my race. Right. You know what I mean? So my weights are the same. You know, the most powerful statement I overheard at one of the first lunches I have here, I was sitting next to two manners, eating by myself. It's terrible how I still love to eat by myself here actually. Cause that's how you meet people. Oh yeah. And I just like watching, you know, I just like watching and listening, but he said to the other man, he's like, you want a real this secret? And I'm like, I'm like, Oh yeah. And, and he, the other guys are yo sure, you know, and he's up earned dollars, spend pesos. Yeah. Yeah. And the other guy didn't really get it, but it just were shot through my entire body. I was like, Oh duh. You know, earn dollars, spend pesos. Right. So I really took them on. And then the second thing I heard was from Mark Dixon. I asked him what he did here on Isla, right? And he said that he was an ambassador for financial enrichment. Oh, I like that. He spends money here and I went, I want that job. You know what I mean? I'm will bring$1 here and I'll spend that now as a Chinese woman, I am a notorious Hagler. I love, love, love to haggle. I really don't have all anymore. I, you know, now that I see what people get paid here, what their lifestyle is, you know, what we have and what that 50 pesos are a hundred pieces difference means to us versus what it means to them. I don't have it whenever they see the crisis, I just give it to them. If I buy more than four or five or something, I'll look at it. I'm like, come on. And then I'll tell them like, so it's still nice linear. I'm going to buy five of these, give me a break. Right. Um, that's the only time all sort of laid it out there. Cause I, I also have done retail and I know what it's like. It just gets move bulk over items, you know what I mean? Um, so. no one would, yeah. Actually we were in Cancun and had our pool mop motor went out and asked for our pool. Guy said, Oh yeah, there's a guy in Cancun and motor shock. He could rebuild it and talk like, I don't know, it's pretty corroded and they're super expensive. Hundreds of hundreds of dollars. So we took it to this guy and he said, those us, you know, two hours come back. We went and had lunch. We came back. It was, he had completely rebuilt the thing, painted it. He was spray painting it when we got there. Okay 460 pesos. And so we gave him 500. Yeah. Said, yeah, yeah.$25. Oh my God. Yeah. And you know, he actually had a funny sense of humor. At first he said, Oh, it's going to be a trace mill. 3000 pesos And Tom and I kind of looked each other and they started bursting up laughing, laughing. And we just thought that was so funny. You know, was this little hole in the wall place? No sign, nothing. Just all of this Thompson. I went by them. I thought it was a junk store. Yeah.

Dawn: 26:10

He had no idea. And this guy was amazing.

Cindy Lu: 26:12

You get the most amazing services here. Um, you know, we were just, so I just bought five pieces of furniture. I got two chairs of four flip like table desks thing to a bookshelf and then a bigger shelf like a pantry shop. And um, it was less than you wonder if$50. Right. You know, and then I was so proud of myself cause you have a boat, you have motive. I put Manolo who is from Chiapas and they all came and brought their kind furniture that they made, you know, and they're just walking around and stumbling and the street. Yeah. I put him the table, the shells, a chair on my Moto with me. Oh I wish I had, Oh, I wrote them over here and I was so proud cause I like, you know, and, and it was just, I feel like it was one of those moments where I was like, wow, I've really, um, assimilated where I was like, Oh, he was walking and I was like, no. Like, Oh, thank God. You know what I mean? It was odd. We have blocks of blocks to go. So yeah. And then I wrote him back and again, like that, there was a respect there. You know what I mean? It just didn't feel threatened in any way. You know, I let him into my apartment, but my stepdad's like, it's not what people think it is. Because when you just ask somebody their name, it's done. You know what I mean? You smile, you ask somebody use their name, you tell them your name. It's, it's just the, the bond is already been created. You do an interaction like that. Now everybody gets a base though, you know, so it's really just a, a base will be a kiss. Right. So it's just a, it's just such a sweet life here.

Dawn: 28:01

Yeah. Yeah. And everybody says, you know, good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You know, when you walk on the street and you know everybody just,

Cindy Lu: 28:09

well you go to the shed rally, which is our market and there's 10 people in there, you're gonna know and we're all hot and sweaty and gross. So no, you don't have to worry about it. Not like an app Malibu. And you know, you're going to see people, you know, error, like a kind of, well you get this amount of Malibu casual thing, but you know, it's still, it's still just a different part space that people open in here.

Dawn: 28:32

So realness here.

Cindy Lu: 28:33

Yeah. And as I say, you know, it's like, Oh look, I'm pretty fat. I go to the tourist spots. Um, I like Kathy dental J and I like the Mayan and you know, um, there are days that I just go grab a chicken from the local people and you know, do that kind of thing. But even with that, I get a massage once a week cause I'm stressed for my divorce. Um, you know, I'm living in here on a quarter of what I was living on there. Isn't that, it's amazing, right? You fill your moto tank, it's 41 dollar. Oh my really.

Dawn: 29:10

Oh my will leave. will take 40 minutes.

Cindy Lu: 29:14

This last one I let it get really low. It took 75 pesos.

Dawn: 29:18

Oh my yeah. So that's$4.

Cindy Lu: 29:21

Yeah. You know what I mean?

Dawn: 29:30

I was kind of anti motorcycle actually before we moved here. Thompson and motorcycles since he was, you know, a teenager. But I've been like definitely afraid of them. So he, he bought Moto before we left and made me learn how to drive. It isn't as long. We were still in Florida. So when I got here, I at least have

Cindy Lu: 29:48

I learned at the airport, I learned that the little airport on Isla, um,i.i. I drove a Moto either. Oh my God. And I was terrified. But still here, you know, it's like bicycle, Moto, golf cart or car, right. Or walk or cabs, right? So, so those are your choices, the people and really envy with the moto, and I just thought of, so how many women here? Ride moto, right? dressed up on what they wear, like high heeled shoes and like get all dolled up and they're little helmets and they have such great posture. And I was like, that is adorable. I wish I knew how to do that. And so of course, like one of the first locals I meet here, you know, there's so helpful. Oh my God is so helpful. So he takes me to his friend's place that rents motos I ran a Moto for three days. Right. He's smart. He, yeah, he risks life and limb two to teach me how to run a Moto at the airport, you know, on the strip. And I do figure aides, I go up and down, you know, so that's kind of, um, how I learned was three days with a rental. It's very much like horseback riding. It's not at all like having a bicycle. Um, and because it was like horseback riding, I felt really at home and I just looked at and like, Oh, we're all on horses. my brain. This is how I navigate traffic with horses. You know, cause I played a little bit of polo, so it's just that, you know, that yeah, that experience of like, I do a posting travel over the speed and then you, you know, sometimes you have to accelerate out of trouble and look out for that guy. They don't have their turn, you know, they're going to turn and you don't know they're going to turn. So all that sort of clicked in for me and now I just ride my motor around easily. Like this morning I had my 7:30 AM salsa class and then it's so pretty out. I just go the long way around from disor and yeah,

Dawn: 31:52

we'll speak in a salsa music. Yeah, I know it was your passion. And I have to ask you about your newest hobby. A business potentially isn't this thing.

Cindy Lu: 33:05

I dont think It's a business at all in any way, shape or form is a way I brought my ukulele, which I had own for over three years. Um, I had maybe played it for the last year and a half, right? Cause everybody buys an instrument and then we get so busy just sat there. But here I really had time to practice, you know, who've just got the Netflix, there's not a lot of other distractions. And I started with the salsa dancing classes and found my little niche. And I think that's an important thing to look for here is what's your circle or what are your circles of people that you click with in different ways, you know, and siro. So we have our Siro who has, you know, this is a total after thing with him, but he does only have the one leg. Um, the harder thing is that Cuban accent in Spanish. That's the much harder thing about learning from him than, than the lack of the leg. But we have other people in class that translated and stuff. So it started there. And then in that class I met Debbie seal cabana who had just started taking Bango lessons from Siro Siro who had played bongos for the Del Castro when he was 13, like major percussionist, um, in, in Cuba. So she was learning bongos and I had the ukulele and I had always wanted to, to be a singer. I was an actress for 20 years. And when people would ask me, why are you an actress? My stock answer was because I can't say, and I really couldn't. It just did not come naturally to me. So it's like here I just practice and practice and practice. And then siro, who owns the Cuban salsa club, um, said, well, you guys should play here. And we're like, okay. Uh, when he's like Sunday night and we're like sieving night, that's the thing. That's the only night, that's the big night there with all the music. And we were like, we could do like Wednesday is like, no, Domingo Domingo, I'm like, okay Domingo. So we open for Barbie and the salsa band, Oh my, um, every Sunday at six 30 and when it started, um, there was like four or five people for a holiday singalong in December and now like we pack the place at six 30. It's crazy. I think really I, they were their little reality show because they watched this grow up from going like, you know, not having any year or trying to like fumble through pages. Like nothing's memorized messing up all the time. Like when I'm still this week, I'm like, I'm not apologizing into the mind. If I miss something, I'll be playing it. I'm miserable. My, sorry. I was like, Oh, but we're actually getting to the end and we picked up a, a a saxophone player from, from Cancun who plays it in Mayan, um, on Fridays. And I met him and he's this beautiful saxophone player. And I was like, do you want to us no. And he was like, where I said it had been Cancun said, Oh I know Siro. It's like I would love to. And so now we have this beautiful saxophone player that has upped our game. So the dream come true. Right. And I tell he was like, this is my own little mid life. I don't want to say crisis. It's a process. Right. Where I, you know, move to a Caribbean Island is throwing a ban. Oh, sounds like another door. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've been taking notes that that was the, my big tragedy on Isla so far has been I spilled water on my computer. I don't know if that, that hundred and 20 page document in my notes of my existence here so far may or may not be lost. And that's something I am going to take to the U S to address. Um, I already tried and Cancun and

Dawn: 36:27

all the energy that you are able to recover mean everything.

Cindy Lu: 36:31

I remember as much as I can.

Dawn: 36:34

Well, you're just such a delight. Are you? You obviously seem very outgoing. So you didn't really have any reservations about coming to interview?

Cindy Lu: 36:42

Well, no, no, no. I am not alcoholic. I mean I am, I am an introvert. You know, we were just having this discussion because somebody said like the, he's a very boy, a loud guy, voices, funny guy. And he said to me, he's like, well, I'm shy. Right? And then this our friend, she's like, you're not shy. And I said, no man, I can see how you're shy because I'm also shy and people don't think I'm shy because I'm friendly and well spoken and you know, once I open my mouth. But that leap that, that has to be made to get, I have to, every single time we went to go talk to that person, go shake their head no, ask them their name. Like I have to pep talk myself every step of getting to know, Oh, I'm so, so, um, pulled in, you know, I have to, I have to draw myself out. I mean I, my husband would probably identify me as park hermit. Oh yeah. I would be on a ranch of 17 acres with three other people and we didn't even really talk that much for days at a time. I just wouldn't need to be around anybody so easily. It is really challenged me to be that person who can just introduce yourself, like, you know what I mean? Just open up and, and cause and also too, I think in, in the U S and LA is like, if you're not feeling well, if you're a little depressed, if you're a little anxious, I would just stay in, you know, now it's like, well, I'm supposed to be at ring calling on Sundays, you know, so if I'm crying over my divorce and some things happen or I'm having feelings, like I just show up in tears and it didn't happen to the sisters, me, it's like I'm like, I'm needy and angry and frustrated today, but here I am, you know? And everybody just surrounded me with love and they all, you know, they just like dance with me and they tell me their stories and they share their knowledge and their experience or they just freaking hug me. You know, and that has been the thing that as it as, as a shy as somebody, I won't say I'm introverted right, where it's like I'd rather not, you know, um, his name n***a. Like I think, I think in that aspect, you know, I, my husband definitely had a point like I did, wasn't social enough and easily that is really teaching me the gifts of, of that kind of community building. Yeah.

Dawn: 39:16

Yeah. I get that. Yeah. Cool.

Cindy Lu: 39:18

But it's no big deal in the U S is it because it's not, at least where I was, we were all too far away from each other and too busy. Well, yeah, there's some, like you said, so many distractions that keep us from making those human connections that are so precious and sober, so precious. You know? And the thing here too, it's like everything's 10 minutes away, you know, and, and if you show up and you only want to stay from 45 minutes and you'll see, that's totally fine. You know, the culture here suits me in that way. Yeah, no pressure. No, there's no pressure. There's no, there's no pressure to even wear shoes,

Dawn: 40:00

lots of dogs on the Island. So it's from

Cindy Lu: 40:04

to show up in any particular way or.

Dawn: 40:04

pervert nails done. Yeah, perfect. And new joy and all that kind of stories.

Cindy Lu: 40:04

Like I said, happy and functioning, you know, you can be nonfunctional and roll around this joint and everybody will take care of you.

Dawn: 40:04

and put their arm around. Yeah. How's it going on that? Awesome. Well good stuff. Oh, is there anything I didn't ask you that you wanted to share? It's just been an absolute joy to have this conversation.

Cindy Lu: 40:04

It's really, it's really fun to talk about all this actually because it's just a way to button a transition cause when you're in it, it just feels a little bit like chaos and bliss. It's like all the feelings are happening at the same time, so I really appreciate it in to take a step back and be like, Oh, you know what? All right. Yeah. Um, I will say that endeavoring to learn the language has been probably the greatest reward for me here. And, Oh, I know that both the language of Spanish and the language of music, um, having the time to learn something new at this age, I'm 48 opened up, well, Spanish speakers in the world is, I think it's like over 300 million and then music, that's everybody. And so even if I'm here a year and I hope I'm here much, much longer than that, I will have up things that I can carry with me throughout the world. You know, that has just changed my horizons as far as being able to create those communities and find people. So I would say if anybody's thinking about making this shift, you know, really spending some time to learn the language, especially Spanish, right? Because they appreciate your assessed for, yeah. I mean the French are terrible about like, they'll just like, Oh please just stop. You know what I mean? Um, but, but here a few words of a phrase, you know, Katie go like, whenever they kind of use themselves, like they just light up and that has brought in both communities for me. Yeah, absolutely. And, and I will just as a shameless self Claver so it's the Fourmanplan.com, the fourmanplan.com and then our um, essential oils website is my.doterra.com/Malibu awesome. So if you order oils from there then I will consult you.

Dawn: 42:36

Well and after this interview, I know there's going to be a lot of people that want to connect with you, so thank you for sharing that and.

Cindy Lu: 42:43

thank you Dawn. I mean thank you for being one of my original like just rocks here. She came to pick me up at the theory the first time I came back and that was very, very heartwarming and also, you know, invited me into the community with the sisters and you know, just just also gave me hugs and advice when I was crying my eyes out. So I really appreciate it.

Dawn: 43:04

Awesome.

Commercial: 43:07

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